cambios

so i'm sitting here in an empty apartment at 1147 pm and cant help but think about all the changes that are taking place. i couldnt tell you if i'm the kind of person that likes change or doesnt because sometimes i do and sometimes i dont but tonight - i'm struggling with it.

all my best friends have left me. my amazing roommates who i got along with so well (rachel and lindsay) have left me for bigger and better things. brittney is with her family in michigan for two weeks and then is moving back up to salt lake. brianne moved to maryland with her husband. lori moved to idaho to go play volleyball. kassie is moving to cedar city. and it all started with cha - who decided that following her husband to sacramento was more important than staying with me. oh yea and dont forget miss ashlie lohner who decided she was too cool for me so moved off to texas to become a rockstar. is everyone moving on but me?
on the bright side, i'm done with school. D.O.N.E. done. i start teaching in two weeks. BIG CHANGE. i'm moving out of provo byu furnished housing to orem. i know right? but i love my roommates so that is one change i'm excited about.

i was thinking about all these changes while i was driving back to sacramento from fresno last night. i was also thinking about the change of going to fresno and no longer being a missionary. change is inevitable. we live, we learn, we move on. its life. as much as we hate it and as hard as it is its just life and many more changes are to follow. it doesnt make it any easier though. its still hard. and somehow, i always still miss the past.

as i've been reflecting on changes i've thought about this song i listened to on my mission. its called "every season" by nichole nordeman. i remember listening to this song right before i was coming home just praying that everything would work out with the change and transition. here are my favorite parts of the song.....

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

(I cut out summer and winter but you can find the whole song here)

i love this song. i love it because the Lord really does have a hand in everything that happens. he truly is invested in the details in our lives. we go through hard times but he is "re-creating" us. all we can do is "offer thanks for what has been and whats to come".

then yesterday in sacrament meeting we sang, "be still my soul" and even though it was in spanish, it still touched me

"Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side
leave to thy God to order and provide
in every change he faithful will remain

be still my soul, thy God doth undertake
to guide the future as He has the past
thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last
be still my soul; the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below"

D&C 101: 16 - "Let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God."

Through every change, He faithful will remain.