cupcakes and cashmere

well by popular demand, ok, by melanie's demand i am updating my blog. sorry i've been out of the circuit for a while but when people dont comment i feel like no one reads/appreciates my posts so i stop. so thank melanie for this one.
let me start out by saying,
yes, all of the above. i moved into my apartment and after a trip to ikea with the manfriend i have a freaking ADORABLE room. plus a queen bed which i'm pretty much obsessed with. and pretty great roommates. also, i started teaching this week. i have 35 beautiful children that i'm also obsessed with and i absolutely LOVE MY JOB!! seriously. i honestly think i found my calling in life and i couldn't be happier about it. well, my calling in life for now at least. everyday i leave completely exhausted but i just adore every minute of it. and i owe it completely 100% to my decision to serve a mission. everything that is going well in my life right now i owe to my decision to serve a mission. best decision i ever made. i was talking to my dad tonight and he said "i only made two important decisions in my life and they shaped everything else: when i chose to join the church, and when i chose to marry your mom" (and then he got teary-eyed. it was adorable).
so, i went to the gap sale yesterday and spent way too much money. i've said it before and i'll say it again. i have a problem. but i'm just so excited for fall. i LOVE FALL!! i love the leaves, the scarves, the boots, the hats, the cardigans, the jackets, the smells, the mountains, the state fair, the pumpkins, the corn mazes, the sunsets. cupcakes and cashmere.

mother teresa said, "spread love everywhere you go, let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

thanks for reading! happy weekend!

viva la vida

so i bought these last week at the sperry outlet.

worth every penny.

Ps. i miss my best friend

anwers to prayers

sometimes i just get so frustrated with myself. i know that Heavenly Father is trying to give me answers to my most fervent prayers but i'm too blinded or stubborn or distracted or something else to see/feel/hear them. how do you receive answers to prayers? how do you find the Lords will for you?
tonight i was reading alma 32. its a chapter all about faith and how to obtain faith. tonight i found that it is also a chapter on how to recognize and receive answers to prayers. think of it this way....

so, like me, most of us want signs (vs. 37) we want the path laid out before us all the time. we want our path shown to us complete with every rock and bump along the way before we actually will step foot on it. we want Heavenly Father to hit us over the head and say, "here's your answer dummy." wouldnt that be nice. but as it says in vs. 18 - that isnt how the Lord works. he never has and he never will. the purpose of life is to find the answers and then be willing to take a step into the dark (relying on our faith and trust in God) and move forward. that is our purpose in life. part of "the test" if you will. so just to add to the mix, two general conferences ago (as in october 2009) Elder Richard G Scott gave a fabulous talk (to which i'm sure i will refer many times in this post) and he said, "Our Father expects you to learn how to obtain that divine help by exercising faith in Him and His Holy Son, Jesus Christ. Were you to receive inspired guidance just for the asking, you would become weak and ever more dependent on Them. They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit." (Full talk here)
we know that faith is not to have a perfect knowledge (vs. 21). sometimes we dont know exactly what they Lord wants us to do. we dont have a perfect knowledge of it but we are required to move forward (for now) with what we feel to be right. and then in verse 22 remember that God is merciful and He really does want us to be successful and He is on our side.

ok here is my favorite part, vs. 26 "ye cannot know of a surety at first, unto perfection..." but we have to put our faith to action and to work and experiment upon what we believe to be right and then it will either shrivel up and die (i assume thats a stupor of thought and therefore, the wrong decision) or it will grow and blossom and you'll get great fruit and blessings and be happy and then you'll know it was the right decision.

"And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet....and ye shall feast upon the fruit even until you are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
"Then, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you."

"By careful practice, through the application of correct principles, and by being sensitive to the feelings that come, you will gain spiritual guidance. I bear witness that the Lord, through the Holy Ghost, can speak to your mind and heart. Sometimes the impressions are just general feelings. Sometimes the direction comes so clearly and so unmistakably that it can be written down like spiritual dictation. I bear solemn witness that as you pray with all the fervor of your soul with humility and gratitude, you can learn to be consistently guided by the Holy Spirit in all aspects of your life. I have confirmed the truthfulness of that principle in the crucible of my own life. I testify that you can personally learn to master the principles of being guided by the Spirit. That way, the Savior can guide you to resolve challenges of life and enjoy great peace and happiness." Elder Scottgood luck on all your quests to find answers. and wish me luck on mine.

cambios

so i'm sitting here in an empty apartment at 1147 pm and cant help but think about all the changes that are taking place. i couldnt tell you if i'm the kind of person that likes change or doesnt because sometimes i do and sometimes i dont but tonight - i'm struggling with it.

all my best friends have left me. my amazing roommates who i got along with so well (rachel and lindsay) have left me for bigger and better things. brittney is with her family in michigan for two weeks and then is moving back up to salt lake. brianne moved to maryland with her husband. lori moved to idaho to go play volleyball. kassie is moving to cedar city. and it all started with cha - who decided that following her husband to sacramento was more important than staying with me. oh yea and dont forget miss ashlie lohner who decided she was too cool for me so moved off to texas to become a rockstar. is everyone moving on but me?
on the bright side, i'm done with school. D.O.N.E. done. i start teaching in two weeks. BIG CHANGE. i'm moving out of provo byu furnished housing to orem. i know right? but i love my roommates so that is one change i'm excited about.

i was thinking about all these changes while i was driving back to sacramento from fresno last night. i was also thinking about the change of going to fresno and no longer being a missionary. change is inevitable. we live, we learn, we move on. its life. as much as we hate it and as hard as it is its just life and many more changes are to follow. it doesnt make it any easier though. its still hard. and somehow, i always still miss the past.

as i've been reflecting on changes i've thought about this song i listened to on my mission. its called "every season" by nichole nordeman. i remember listening to this song right before i was coming home just praying that everything would work out with the change and transition. here are my favorite parts of the song.....

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

(I cut out summer and winter but you can find the whole song here)

i love this song. i love it because the Lord really does have a hand in everything that happens. he truly is invested in the details in our lives. we go through hard times but he is "re-creating" us. all we can do is "offer thanks for what has been and whats to come".

then yesterday in sacrament meeting we sang, "be still my soul" and even though it was in spanish, it still touched me

"Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side
leave to thy God to order and provide
in every change he faithful will remain

be still my soul, thy God doth undertake
to guide the future as He has the past
thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last
be still my soul; the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below"

D&C 101: 16 - "Let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God."

Through every change, He faithful will remain.