Ok maybe I just need to vent a little bit and get some advice from some other mothers out there but I HATE SUNDAYS. I dread church. Never in my life have I felt that way until now and I kind of feel bad for saying that. Kind of. It was really hard.
I've heard moms (mine included) talk about how hard church is with toddlers because they're all over the place and then they can't listen and its just a nightmare. Yes. We've reached that point. Owen does NOT sit still. EVER. And then when we wont let him down he just starts crying. And then you get the faces from other people. You know what I'm talking about. The "you're the worst parent ever" face. The "control your child" face. The "take your child out" face. Even the "I'm never going to like you when I'm a parent" face. I even had someone ask me if my child was hungry and needed food. No he's not hungry. I have a bag full of food that he wont eat. He's not hungry. He's annoying and doesn't sit still but thank you for trying to parent my child. Every second is a battle with him. We'll get out a toy, a book, his church quiet book, another toy, another book, his church quiet book, some snacks, a sippy cup, a bottle, a binkie, another book, another toy, his church quiet book. Nothing seems to keep him satisfied for longer than 45 seconds. FOREAL.
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To make matters worse, I don't understand ANY Swedish so I have no idea what is going on in church. I know Gud is God and Kristo or something is Christ and that's about it. (yes, probably my fault, i know I need to learn Swedish). The branch is very kind that they work extra hard to provide English translation for those of us that don't know Swedish. They have these headsets that we put on and listen to somebody translating. Its great! However, it is also Owen's favorite toy. The second one of us puts them in our ears they are ripped out and put into his mouth so that doesn't work out so well. Therefore, beneath the screaming and a language I don't understand I don't feel the spirit. I just don't. Is it my fault? I believe so. I have never wanted to leave church before. I was beyond ready to leave. I kept asking the Mr. to leave and I was serious. He said no. Am I bad person for it? Probably. But I'll apologize. Sorry.
Maybe I'm just being a little over-dramatic because I'm cold.
And cranky.
I feel your pain! Lydia is terrible during Sacrament and for a long time I felt like staying home rather than going to church, because at least she would be happy there playing with her own toys and not bothering anyone. I'm sorry it's so frustrating. :(
ReplyDeleteUgh, beyond frustrating, gin. I'm so sorry! All the things youve tried are the same things ive tried. You pack your bag with a million things to battle the baby A.D.D. and they still don't work! Hang in there and hopefully your stuff gets there soon!
ReplyDeleteIm so so sorry, Gini!!! :( Wish I could give you a big comforting hug! That age is SUPER tough to deal with at church! It gets better! When Noah was Owen's age, James was at training for the Air Force, so I was by myself at church and I remember being so frustrated and exhausted for three hours because I felt similar to how you felt and sometimes I wondered why I was even there too! I remember letting tears slide down my checks in Relief Society because I was so fed up with everything! You're not alone!! You are strong! I can't even begin to understand what it must be like to not even understand the language! :( I hope it gets better!! love you!
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ReplyDeletehmmmm, i'm pretty sure your sundays aren't harder than mine. try having 4 kids with no husband. i can't hear anything anyway so it might as well be in swedish! don't worry, only a few more months until he goes to nursery!!! oh, and erik hates you? jeez, a little harsh, don't you think? just a few more weeks and then you'll get to come to church here! :) love ya!
ReplyDeleteWe have been going through this same thing with Jackson. It is SO hard to teach them not to run around, to sit quietly, to sit at all! For me I really struggle with Sacrament meeting because I am most of the time on my own because Jeff works 3 out of 4 sundays a month. Our church is right during Jackson's usual naptime so sacrament is crazy. However, Nursery is a blessing! He loves Nursery and I love him going there! Not too long until you get to enjoy that, too :) Hang in there. Anyone who is staring at you with those crazy eyes has never had a child. Don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand! Sundays are still no fun and they probably won't be for a good few years ha, but I personally feel that Owen's age is the hardest (so far). James is still naughty in Sacrament at times but we have learned we sit in the overflow (don't know if you have that option there) and kind of give him some freedom to an extent. We let him get on the floor and play with cars. Nursery is a lifesaver! Glad you're almost to that point so you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday meetings. With the headphone translation thingy you mentioned, try bringing some ear phones for him?? Maybe that will help so he won't pull yours out? Good luck girl! And it's ok once in a while to take little one home if he's being a stinker and needs to nap. Heavenly Father knows you're a good mom and you need a break sometimes too :)
ReplyDeleteOh and I had a mommy meltdown in church one time- crying infront of people and had to grab James and run out. I think everyone has experienced that :) It's ok to have a good frustrated cry once in a while.
ReplyDeleteThis brought back terrible memories of church with Garrett at that same age. He was such a nightmare and it was so hard! I felt the exact same way--and they even spoke my language. :) I remember letting him play with a pair of fingernail clippers he found in the diaper bag one Sunday and this lady (who is actually really sweet and I do like her) took them away from him and said he really shouldn't be playing with them. I felt like such a loser mom!
ReplyDeleteNursery is coming soon, but I will be honest and say sometimes kids have a rough time transitioning to nursery and it isn't always a cakewalk, either. Some kids love it from the first week, but you may have a few awful weeks as he gets used to it. Both of my kids grew to love the nursery, but we did have many meltdowns at first. It gets better, though, so don't stress!
I don't remember Abby being as difficult at church as Garrett was. I'm not sure if it's because her personality is different or if we were just accustomed to the madness by then and it didn't bother me as much. I am a firm believer that EVERYTHING is harder with one kid the first time around, because it is new and you are just figuring out how to do it. I would gladly take both kids to church at these ages (by myself if I had to), than to have had both Greg and I take Garrett when he was Owen's age. That was a nightmare! Hang in there and don't give up!!! It's all worth it in the end. (At least that's what I told myself last Sunday as I went flying out of Sacrament meeting last Sunday holding Abby as she yelled, "I need a bucket! I'm going to throw up!") _